did you know...

...that the average comfort (brand) cab in singapore clocks over 1.5 million km before it is written off? that's around 37 and a half trips around the world (assuming you were driving an imaginary road on the equator.

that's a hell of a lot of kilometers.

back in the saddle

i've realized how much my fitness level has dropped in the past couple of months. not that it was at a high level to begin with, but it WAS on the road to recovery.

with a (food-filled) vacation to japan, jeff and erica visiting singapore on (a food-driven) vacation, and my general laziness, it shouldn't have surprised me how a simple 20km ride today seemed so much tougher than it should be.

time to drop the carbs and sugars again, and revert back to my protein rich (and often boring) diet and exercise routine. for no other reason than to eat more good food with less guilt.

oh, and to get fit of course

missing japan

freedom


for the past 3 weeks, abi has been telling me how much she misses japan.

i am inclined to agree with her.

sigh

a day at the museum

the ORIGINAL reason for going


indiscriminate rock painting


bubbles


i want this


mummy fen making sure ethan has many photos of his childhood


wistful butterfly


christian lacroix (who just went bankrupt)


the men of the ong family


milkshake for nate nate


ethan taking a break


excitement


a week late, but better late than never.

what started off as an opportunity for abi and shea to see the verner panton exhibit at the National Museum of Singapore turned into an all out family fest as we discovered that childrens' week had kicked off the day before at the museum. as we wander down, who should we meet but eugene and ethan, which meant that fen was somewhere close by.

then maye-e shows up, and it becomes a gaggle of children and parents.

who knew that chasing after children and watching them run around, sweat and have fun with each other could be so enjoyable?

i am ready.

thank god it's over

some scary shit
don't get my wrong, i loved dead space and thought it was one of the best games i've played on the ps3. only problem is, it scared the living daylights out of me.

"you got to try it, it's scary as hell!" says mugi to me, and i reply, "please, how scary can a video game be?" now, 15 hours of game play later (not including the sections i had to replay after getting my ass handed to me on a plate by unbelievably spooky aliens), i am a believer.

i loved the game, but it was also an ordeal to play, something i needed to actually psyche myself up to do because it was too damn stressful. seriously.

whether you have an xbox or ps3, if you haven't played it, go give it a shot. you might hate me for introducing it to you, but i am sure you'll get a kick out of it.

but i have to say that i sure am glad it's over.

ps: you've got to play the first chapter alone in a dark room in the dead of the night. can anyone say "shrinkage"?

photo log: 17/05/2009

not everything counts in large amounts

i am really going to try and keep this photo log going, and yes, i know that the date of the title and the date of the posting doesn't match, but i had to work late. forgive me.

just realized how much bigger cars have gotten in the last 30 years.

scary.

happiness is: a roomful of photographers

critique session

i love photography. no surprise there. i especially love documentary work and photojournalism. maybe it's because what i am trained in, but i still believe that real pictures have a big role to play in society.

in the past few years, i've become pretty appreciative of the other forms of photography, and enjoy the diversity out there, but my core values are always kicked into overdrive when people who consider themselves documentary photographers or photojournalists set up pictures. "what's the big deal?" they ask, and i almost always tell them that i don't give a damn if they destroy their own credibility, but i hate it when my work gets dragged down into the muck of deceit that they create.

i know it will happen, and i know it happens a lot at the other newspapers under the umbrella company that owns my newspaper. i also know that i am on staff with some of the best shooters in singapore, and take heart in the fact that the younger generation at my paper also share my aversion to making up pictures, opting instead to look for real images i.e. things that happen as you see them, not as you want them to look.

but not everyone is a documentarian, and the current project that a few of us are working on with action for aids shows that there is room for all kinds of photography in this world. there is nothing like introducing a new cohort of image lovers to the fold of photography, and even more fulfilling is a roomful of seasoned veterans and inquisitive newbies talking about pictures.

what can i say, stuff like that makes me happy.

speechless

ok the new star trek movie is good.

no i mean it's really good. seriously.

i was worried the hype was going to disappoint me, i was worried that the closet trekkie in me was going to find things that i would be disappointed with, but honestly, i loved it.

now some people will say "oh i am a star wars fan, not into star trek" and believe that never the twain shall meet, but i like star wars AND star trek, and believe me when i tell you, that even if you aren't a fan, there is a 99.48% chance that you will be one after this movie.

so quit whining, get off your ass, and go watch it.

you won't be disappointed.

isn't she lovely?

doting grandparents

i know i am getting boring and repetitive, but i don't really care. my niece has just completely captured my heart.

i love the fact that she can wake up and smile at us instead of being grumpy, and how this good natured little girl can instantly make all around her happy.

i could take pictures of her all day long.

shoot

work as it should be

for the first time in awhile, i am back on the shooting rotation. i know it's been awhile because the minute i picked up the canon, i realized that all my lenses had a (more than) fine coat of dust on them.

it was a nice surprise to be laden with five assignments on my first day back, five portrait assignments to be exact for a lifestyle section piece. BORING you might say, but you know what? it's great to be back looking, thinking and seeing.

so my equipment has now been dusted off (literally), and it's nice to be taking pictures again for a living.

really nice.

THAT day.

you know there are days:

- when nothing seems to go right.
- when everything you do to correct a wrong becomes a bigger wrong.
- when the weather, the crowds, the traffic etc all seem to conspire against you.
- when you swallow your pride to right things and it makes not one iota of difference.
- when the people who make decisions where you work seem like complete fools making unrealistic demands.
- when you want to sweep everything off your desk, yell "screw this" and walk off never to come back.
- when the big game or race you have been waiting for turns out to be disappointing.
- when you wish things were a lot less complicated in every aspect of your life.
- when everything feels like you are trying to squeeze square pegs into round holes.
- when circumstances let you down.
- when nothing is as it seems.
- when you just want to isolate yourself away from everything and everyone.
- when you doubt yourself.

yeah.

today is THAT day.

i'm still trying to look on the bright side though; one needs to have the bad days to appreciate the good ones.

i AM a photographer

no more excuses.

God only knows how many I've made over the past few years; no time to shoot, too busy sitting at a desk, too many administrative projects, the camera is too big to tote around, or too small and doesn't have enough megapixels, colors are not accurate enough, film is too expensive, lens is not wide enough, iso is not high enough, too much low light noise is, picture can't be blown up big enough, too many choices, not enough choices, hard to find the film i want etc.

the list is endless, and it shouldn't be.

i remember when i was in school. carrying an N90s with a 24mm f2.8 everywhere i went. making pictures, capturing moments, documenting, and all the while having fun. i remember shooting news events, parties, basketball, football, soccer, baseball, concerts, portraits, parades, protests, riots, drunken nights out, the little 500, the indy 500, clubbing, street scenes, shadows, friends, loved ones, strangers, clouds, sunsets... everything you could think of. and i loved every second of it.

i remember going out just to make pictures. for fun. no assignments, no deadlines, no pressures. just seeing, feeling, experiencing, then shooting.

i remember bryan moss, the director of photography at my very first internship in evansville, indiana, telling me to stop thinking, and to let the the picture "jump into my camera". his wise advice that if i found something interesting, then others would too. "trust your instincts," he would tell me, and point out that half the time, my favourite pictures were the ones i don't even remember taking in the first place.

i remember my internships, and my carrying a camera even after i was done for the day. why? cause you never knew when a picture would happen.

i remember coming back to singapore, and still working on photo projects i cared about. projects that let me tell stories and see how other people lived.

i remember looking death in the face in a SARS infected ICU ward, and never once being afraid because i knew i was doing something important. showing people something they wouldn't get to see if i didn't document it.

i remember the reality checks i got flying around the world to poorer countries and tsunami hit zones, constantly reminded of how fortunate i really was.

what i don't remember was when it all stopped. when i stopped.

i have lived, i have experienced, i have shared, i have taught, i have mentored, and i have learnt.

and now, i need to live again, i need to experience again, i need make pictures again, i need to tell stories, i need to do it all over again.

the time is now. no more excuses.

just one camera and lens slung around my shoulder and an open mind. like old times.

i may be a teacher, i may be a mentor, i may be an administrator of sorts, i may be a student.

i want to thank beeba for reminding me, that i am, first and foremost, a photographer.

answers

God's own truth

the bible is a big big book. i remember reading it cover to cover when i was in secondary school, but i think it was more of a challenge to myself than it was about absorbing anything.

i always thought it was weird hearing people tell me that all the answers to my questions could be found in the good book, if only i took the time to look for them. turns out someone else found my answer for me.

the painful experience has happened, and it's time to change my ways.

all of them.

sign me up!

i want to write a blog that everyone wants to read.

i want to be influential.

i want the free stuff that comes when i have achieved the above said.

too bad i am too busy (i.e. lazy) to pour my heart and soul into self promotion on cyberspace :P

ps: bruises by chairlift (better known as the song from the new nano-chromatic ad) is most catchy!

don't know what you got till it's gone

"Three years ago during my first trip to Singapore, I fell for the Comfort’s classic charm. Sliding onto the rear bench seat, I noticed that the Comfort’s interior was a time warp of black vinyl and easy-clean rubber floors, which, this being Singapore, were actually cleaned on a regular basis. The Comfort had a springy ride that conjured up fond childhood memories of bouncing along in a yellow school bus. In comparison, the murky confines of New York taxis leave me feeling squashed as if I were in the back seat of a police cruiser."- Nick Kurczewski

who knew that comfort cabs would be compared to the checkered cabs of the NYC of yore? Nick Kurczewski, a freelance automotive journalist who blogs for the New York Times' Wheels blog bemoans the fact that comfort cabs' Toyota Comforts (known as the Toyota Crown here in Singapore) are being switched to more fuel efficient taxis.

yes I know that as a country, we may be comfortable, and safe and have all the modern amenities (sans certain freedoms) that we need, but to allude to the Toyota Crown as a Singaporean icon? erm, not so much.

still, it's always nice to read something about your country that isn't condescending or critical (or about food/shopping for that matter). So I'll just keep forwarding that link to all my friends, who will probably respond the same way as darren did ("the NYTimes covers some strange things"), but who will have a little suppressed burst of pride deep down inside, that something as trivial as the taxi cabs we take for grated, are of interest to others.

ps: thanks to garrett ewald for the link!

you're SO intellectual!

the new paper is the perfect newspaper (no i shall not make any puns about it being a "rag") for the five minute bathroom break. ok so it's not that new (it was launched 20 years ago actually), but I was curious about the new design revamp that they just came out with.

however, what really caught my eye was the cover story about "Sassy singles end up dating Mr Fright". That's all well and good. I am a strong believer that you shouldn't NEED to be in a relationship to satisfy society's expectations and Ms Candy Soh, a 27-year-old preschool teacher managed to give pretty decent (albeit expected) answers about what she expects out of a relationship and a potential life partner.

kudos to her.

but a quote by the second interviewee, a 29-year-old legal assistant, reduced me to a shaking ball of laughter and tears right there in my office lavatory. she's been on blind dates and dated men she trawled off IRC (great place to meet men honey!!) but didn't seem to be able to click (pun intended!) with them.

the kicker was when she proclaimed to "enjoy intellectual films like A Beautiful Mind and Forrest Gump" and bemoans the fact that "some men don't try to understand these movies." I sure am glad she's holding these men up to such lofty expectations.

perhaps she should consider speed dating to draw in better male specimens?

the big picture

while the boston globe has always had pretty good photography, it is nice to see them taking another step in showcasing good work.

While they may have had that shady freelance photographer contract but at least they are now doing something "noble", that is simple but oh so effective.

the big picture site shows pictures how they should be viewed. BIG.

something that i will definitely take into account when planning the revamp of the ST's photo microsite.

chillin' like a villin'

ok.. i meant "villian" "villain", but i don't know how to make it sound right if you are reading it instead of hearing it.

there is something very nostalgic about sitting at the micky d's at funan surfing on my laptop waiting for ah seng and ock to arrive for lunch. ok maybe there wasn't wireless.sg during my freelance days (when i got to sit around doing a whole lot of nothing more often than not)

i feel like the total gadget geek i am, sitting here with a computer, phone, ipod and a real book (to add a touch of good old fashioned intellect) and i have to say i am liking it.

liking it a lot actually ;-)

i'm also excited about the fact that today is my last day of classes. it will be nice to get back to a normal one job schedule!

eye opening

abi sent me a link to a story that touched her to the core and induced waves of sadness within her. a feral child she said, a story of the girl in the window

so i click it and find out that it's from the st petersburg times out in florida and that the person who shot the stills for the story is none other than my old friend melissa lyttle. my red team mate from back in the day at the eddie adams workshop, the woman who tells fantastic stories with her pictures and the person i've been perpetually envious of and yet very proud to know.

she has a passion for her work that i could only dream of. she writes:

"I wish my brain had an off switch.

I can't sleep. I can't help but lay awake, thinking about a story Lane and I have been working on. It's going to be published in 12 days.

It's a tragic story, but ultimately, one about hope. Though, in a meeting last week, Lane's editor summed things up by saying that this is a story about what happens when a child isn't loved. Somehow that resonates.

I want it to be done right.

I wish I was still making pictures of Dani. Still working it. I can't help but wonder if I did enough. If I've told this story fully and to the best of my ability. Wondering if the family will be happy with the results. Hoping it'll do some good, somehow.

My worst fear is that I haven't done it justice.

I'm drawn to stories like this. It's what I'm most passionate about. In a way I'm dealing with my own demons. Trying to reconcile with the past. But it's not about me.

I want it to be perfect. For Dani. After all, it's her story. Not mine."

- melissa lyttle

i want to write about the girl in the window, but my limited writing skills would not be up to the task. i implore you to read the story and also view the multimedia slideshow. an amazing story, by amazing journalists.

i'd almost forgotten why i got into this job in the first place.

thank you melissa for reminding me.

china: the new milli vanilli

blame it on the rain? nah, just on china i think.

it was funny how the editors sitting around the morning news meeting yesterday were astounded at how so many young singaporean-chinese were identifying with the beijing games, and vicariously soaking in the glory of china's triumphant blaze of glory on the world stage; the opening ceremony of beijing 2008.

looks like the motherland has let them down again. seems that the "glorious firework footprints" were nothing more than a high tech sham.

hey, they cite safety as an example, "We could not put the helicopter pilot at risk by making him try to follow the firework route," said an advisor to the Beijing Olympic Committee. a bit of a stretch, but an excuse we MIGHT be able to swallow.

but this?!?!?!

one of the cutest kids in china didn't quite have the voice to pull it off, and the kid with the voice of an angel turns out to have a chubby face and uneven teeth.

why choose one when you can have both?

shades of milli vanilli and ashlee simpson, not in front of a live studio audience, or even the english speaking world, but in front of an estimated 4 BILLION views across the globe?

that is a mega ouch, and no matter how you swing it, it damages your credibility no end. we wanted to believe, but i guess the beauty of china, at this stage, is still only skin deep.

bygone tech-brands

"napster subscribers fall" says the news article on the bbc.

napster! when was the last time i heard that!? probably in university when it was still easy to 'steal' music. this got me thinking about tech brands and phrases that were virtual bywords in the last decade that we hardly hear of anymore.

napster (of course), netscape (remember navigator?), eudora (gotta love email!), telnet, leonis (the nus server that i had early access to thanks to my elder sis who went to school there, oh, and the PRE-GRAPHIC interweb i might add), earthlink, aol, winamp, mIRC (the client, not the actual chatroom interface), gopher, animated gifs, friendster, lotus 1-2-3, word perfect, ms-dos, california games, kazaa, limewire, ws_ftp, illustrator, pagemaker, ICQ, askjeeves.com, quarkXpress, lynx, IBM's OS/2 Warp (damn that is OLD school),wordstar, dbase, strongbad (how i used to crack up to trogdor the burninator!), bryce 3D, myst...

the list is endless...

i am in a bit of a nostalgic mood, so if you have any other programmes, applications, games etc to add to that list. feel free to tack it on!

where's the impetus to blog?!?

it's so weird, we're totally wired, and perpetually online, and yet it's getting harder to blog.

part of the reason (as mentioned before) is obviously facebook, but there are also other excuses, like my thinking that no one reads this anymore (not that I blame them, heck, I've been out of fashion for YEARS). Do we really want our status updates (there! the bad influence of facebook again!) in bite sized chunks or would we rather actually find out how people REALLY are (erm.. as far as blog posts go that is.)

really makes one wonder.

I should just post a shitload of new pictures :)

correction, I should really TAKE a shitload of new pictures.

you know it's a sad day...

... when the US Presidential Election comes to the WWE

wtf?

proud new home owner

this is the look of a proud owner of his own kingdom.

it's not what you would expect, because it IS darren after all, and even though we love him, we can hardly call him normal.

but he's got his keys, the contractors are starting work and by early 2008, we should have a new place to invade for chill time. even if it is NEARLY in malaysia.

the birthday girl

how quickly they grow!


and they say tv teaches children violence


helping hands

it seems like only yesterday when i first met little shea. always shy, always hiding behind mummy, always picky about food.

the pickiness about food hasn't changed much (though she IS trying new things) but the timid quiet girl has blossomed into a smart little 8-year-old whose sudden spurts of extrovertedness still startle me.

the nuggets were good, the pinata was ace, and the adults all had as good a time as the kids.

it was nice to be there, and i can't wait to be there for many more.

happy birthday shea!

hallelujah!

good things do come to those who wait.

so what if it's 5:15am in the morning and that i've spent the last few hours fiddling with my computer?

i've finally gotten my p990i to sync with my mac, and i couldn't be happier. updated contacts and calandars?

ahhh! my life is complete!

and now, to hit the shower and enjoy a much deserved sleep.

*update - it's 7:15am and am just done manually changing some contacts that wouldn't upload. reminder to self - make sure everything is working fine before making random declarations*

getting back into the swing of things

you'd think that after being back a week, i'd be back to normal.

i thought that's how things would be.

i thought wrong.

for those who don't know, lucky ole me managed to get assigned to head over to toulouse, france to cover the handover of singapore airline's latest toy, the airbus a380 (no i did not get to fly the damn thing back.) after a nice three days with peers from various local media outlets, i abandoned them at gatwick in london, and proceeded to spend a good seven days in london with nat, and a shitload of museums.

i shot a roll and a half of film (damn the digital demon!) and about a bazillion digital (demonized) images. at the risk of sounding like a sellout, a tech nerd, or just the lazy ass i really am, i have to say that i am getting way too used to the instant gratification that digital photography provides.

that said, i'm still too lazy to upload, so we'll see just how long it will take before i get some images up online.

but i digress...

a full week after touching down, and i still haven't gotten over the "wishing i was still on vacation" phase, aside from the great weekend (happy birthday shea!!) spent with family, friends, and the crowds visiting the new airport terminal, getting myself to work hasn't gotten any easier, especially today when it took all of my self control to go in and be the night supe.

i'm giving myself one more week, and if things don't get better, well maybe i will just start planning for my next jaunt out of the country (this time with beeba.)

that should give me something to look forward to.

facebook killed the blogging star

well maybe not killed, but severly crippled.

so what if facebook is shallower and not as personal? blogging takes more time and thought, some would say, and in this day and age, we are all about saving time. to do what? erm, probably to waste it on something else.

our generation is all about instant gratification. why waste time waiting for someone to compose their thoughts and type out a lengthy diatribe about how bad their day was, and how much they have to do, and how tough work is, when a simple facebook status update stating "bryan is sick of work and tired" would work just as well?

it's akin to saying that you keep up to date on current affairs when all you do is read headlines.

at the end of the day, it's probably about being an exhibitionist, and to a large extent, that's what blogging and facebooking is all about. we want people to know how we are, how disgruntled (or happy) we are, and we want as many people as possible to read it.

but i guess even exhibitionists need a day off, or at least feel the need to expose themselves to a more private and descerning audience.

and that, my dear friends, is why i blog.

random disconcerting soundbites

*overheard during my quick dash into the grocery store*

"ok! you stay outside! monster come and eat you!!" huffs a disgruntled parent as he walks through swinging doors while leaving his truculent child outside. nary a sign of urgency to open that door as the little tyke freaks out and starts bawling to be let back in, all the while exerting maximum strength to open a heavy glass door that his dimunitive size is not equipped to handle.

"why are you still here!!" a seemingly unreasonable and extremely irate lady shouts at her domestic helper (in front of her two young children i might add) " you think i need you? you think i cannot get along without you? go off lah! who needs you?!" as the poor maid trundles along after her employer with tears in her eyes, soon to be out of earshot.

since when did it become fun to wait a good half minute watching your child wail outside a door he can't open before letting him in?

and since when did the term "domestic helper" translate directly into "slave"?

happy birthday singapore, you're getting older, but that doesn't necessarily make you any wiser.

a mac-nificent comeback

he's done it again.

my long lasting G4 17-inch powerbook has come back from certain death and proven to me that it is still worthy to serve and not be replaced. even though i've had it for more than three years, and apple care has run out, the G4 keeps plugging away.

So what if i had to replace the logic board three times in it's first year, it's been going strong ever since. well ever since a couple of weeks ago when the internet connection suddenly slowed to a crawl then went from no internet connection to a wheezing 1kb/s every couple of minutes. "it's had a good run," i told myself, maybe it's time to put it to pasture and spend money i don't really have and get me a brand spanking new macbook pro. but little did i know that no self respecting G4 takes that kind of insult lying down, and so today, after outfitting the old boy with the latest security software (which i incidentally had to do with the ethernet cable plugged in because the airport connection was so spotty that it kept timing out), and restarting both the cable modem and the router, my tarnished, beaten old computer has a new lease on life and is keeping my bank account looking respectable. at least until it's next relapse.

the silver surf(board) has pretty much seen and experienced it all, from the tsunami in sri lanka, the maldives and india, to the bright lights of tokyo, and the unpredictable weather of melbourne. i guess it's not ready to kick the bucket just yet.

and that makes me glad.

blabber

if it was as easy to give up smoking and to start working out again as it is for me to procrastinate blogging, i'd be fit as a fiddle and have smoke free lungs. it actually took a promise to my colleague suan chiang for me to actually post an entry. apparently there are still people who read this and who are curious as to how things are going in my life.

who would have thought?

however, it seems like my bedroom induces lethargy, especially after working all damn day. school is back in session, so what this really translates to is eight hours of newspaper work, followed by three hours of teaching, followed by another three hours BACK at the newspaper, before i finally take off for home, as wrung out as a dishcloth that's had to clean some massive spills.

things are steadily getting better i'd like to think, i'm getting more done at work in less time, and am actually beginning to understand how things work to the point that i preempt mistakes before they even get out. the learning curve is steep, but i'd like to think that i'm giving it the old college try and admirably hanging on.

change is in the air though, lots of it. and while it might mean the marginal tightening of belts, there is no substitute for happiness. money can buy you a lot of things, but if you aren't happy, then what's the point?

now all i need to do is to start quitting them cigarettes, and start hitting that gym.

who knows, it might even happen soon.

on and on and on

the song touched by the band vast (visual audio sensory theatre) keeps playing in my head, especially that strangely compelling segue in the middle.

and i'm not in a hurry to get it out.

stare what stare?

if looks could kill...

with the flurry of nate posts on almost every other blog in our circle of friends, i think it's time to put out one of my own.

let's state for the record that this kid is one cute little bugger, and yes, there have been times when i've considered kidnapping him, but then he gives me the death stare and i meekly back down.

that boy can stare.

for a long

long

long

time.

and he seems to only do it to me, so now i wonder if i should be flattered.

or very afraid.

fresh air of freedom

outside vivo

now don't get me wrong. i don't hate my job. i get frustrated much of the time cause i don't get to shoot much anymore, but i do think i am in a position to make a difference, small though that difference might be (baby steps remember!)

but after three weeks of working with only three off days, it's nice to have a four day stretch of off days to clear. and sometimes, just getting out with someone you love (especially when it's still light out) makes it all better. so what if i forgot to bring my handy dandy little camera with me, sometimes, a camera phone is all you really need.

space filler: smoke gets in your eyes

when the going gets tough, the tough get smoking

and so this is where half the newsroom disappears to when things start getting gnarly. for about five minutes, all is well in the world with good company to share mutual gripes and passionate discourses about how things at work have deteriorated.

even non-smokers venture out, despite the risk of second hand smoke inhalation, for a moment or two of respite amongst people with nothing more in common than their disgruntlement.

and when the cigarette is smoked to the butt, it's back to the grindstone for some, and for others like myself, back to the task of trying to make things work as they should, not as they are.

and things are slowly getting better.

can't always be a hero

my partner in crime

i'm beginning to find that out the hard way.

even with someone who cares about you looking over your shoulder and surprising you with little bursts of happiness and sunshine (spuder-man was a kickass pick me up), it's easy to let other things get you down.

juggling work, finances, increasing burdens and moments of frustration, are a lot easier when you have that patient ear, and someone who loves you to keep you standing.

this is for her.